TRIANGULATION IN DV RELATIONSHIPS

 ANGLES OF HARM

Most of us react or respond to the people, places and things around us based on the information we have as to whether or not a circumstance is safe for us.

 

One of the most effective tools used by an abuser or abusive group to procure and maintain control of a circumstance is by using TRIANGULATION, the perfect accompaniment to deception in contribution towards conflicting perceptions, and thus, behavior.

 

Triangulation is the act of indirectly relaying, in most circumstances defamatory, derogatory, or otherwise debasing information, about a victim or target with the hopes of creating disputes or instigating conflict and divisions with the aim of causing the victim to become estranged or isolated from their support groups, family and friends.

 

Likewise, because Domestic Violence in itself is an act of warfare waged against a victim, to strip away the self-esteem, self-identity, perceptions, and most importantly, the self-preservatory inclinations they may have, employing the mechanism of triangulation can be a very effective weapon in alienating a victim from anyone and anything that can serve as a barrier to the abuser procuring their narcissistic supply.

 

TRIANGULATION CAN LOOK LIKE

• Using Family And Friends Against A Victim - By telling blatant lies or half-truths as projections to cause disputes or familial abandonment, detachment or insensitivity and apathy towards victim suffering. 

• Framing And Rigging Circumstances - Through manipulations, mischievous communications or employing  harmful actions with the help of others to make the victim seem unstable or unfavorable.

 

• Undermining And Sabotaging Victim Survival Efforts - In clandestine ways, while overtly pretending to show concern or care for the victim. Sabotage, especially when in economic contexts, serve to disadvantage and disarm a victim by leaving them incapable of caring for themselves, effectively rendering them needy and destitute. This is a powerful tool in diminishing ones autonomy, while authoring co-dependence in the abusive relationship.

 

 

WEAPONIZED COMMUNICATION

Because the primary tenets of triangulation involve indirection or indirect communication with the abuser serving as the primary conduit of the communicatory aim between targets and all others, while direct or otherwise proactive communication is discouraged, it is very effective in causing dissention amongst people, as no one knows what is really going on, since the primary channels of communication are distorted and manipulated by the triangulator to prevent an expose of the truth from being revealed. Hence, the communication is weaponized against the target.

 

Procuring and maintaining power and control over targets, largely involves isolating  and alienating them from others. The conflicts manufactured from acts of triangulation, effectively contribute to this aim, oftentimes leaving victims solely dependent on the abuser without support or the necessary structural resources to escape the abusive circumstances.

 

Abusers may use victim’s children and loved ones as tokens of deception to turn against them with triangulatory communications to strengthen their stronghold within the relationship. Likewise, they may even destroy employability through acts of sabotage and manipulation using triangles of deception, as their primary aim is to circumvent any and all probabilities that anyone can help the victim get out.

 

A HOUSE DIVIDED

The main precipice of triangulation is to employ the tried and tested DIVIDE AND CONQUER methods of thwarting the likelihood of victim independence and survival outside of the relationship.

 

When someone who means to harm you, has infiltrated your familial and support structures, while positioning themselves as the central tenet of information amongst everyone, the effects can be quite devastating. The triangulator, can now effectively influence and encourage the conceptualizations and perceptions of all involved - and with a trick of the light of such an influence, can demonize and otherwise tarnish the credibility of their targets in ways that cause immense harm. This works best when the triangulator has effectively diminished the communication between their targets and utility people, to strengthen their position as the main source of communicatory information.

 

Likewise, it is essential to note that those who typically use triangulation, see others as objects or tools of manipulation to be used for their own supply needs. As such, triangulators, often use other love interests or people to insight dissention, jealousy and conflict in an effort to cause harm to their victims.

 

PROSPECTIVES

Tactful abusers use triangulation along with other arsenals of weapons, to sow seeds of doubt while terrorizing their targets, meticulously and methodically seeking none other than total dominance.

 

Many survivors have incurred incalculable devastation, as their network of friends, family and other support groups significantly diminished in the wake of the deception of triangulatory communications and maleficent actions.

 

Likewise, friends and family members of the survivor may be confused as to the depth of what is going on, as triangulators seek to make any and all promising relationships and possible lines of revelatory communication between the survivor and others unpleasant or otherwise chaotic experiences.

 

It can seem as if survivors are unequipped or maladjusted to deal with the day to day trials and tribulations of life’s circumstances, while the abuser and triangulator is manufacturing the anomalies, thus wreaking havoc in their lives.

 

Triangualtors rely heavily on networks of “flying monkeys” to help them in their ploys of harm. So many of them have developed artificial charm or pleasant personality attributes that they mask underneath their true selves, to lure in both their vampiric supply, and to procure allies in their abuse and terrorism campaigns. Thing is, they don’t really have any real interest in their primary or secondary targets, other than to use them all as tools in their reign of terror. They are very crafty in forging inauthentic projections of themselves, as they seek to destroy others, using triangulation as a potent means of doing so.

 

Defamatory triangulation also serves as a destabilizing and destructive factor, not only in escalating conflict, but likewise in disarming and disorienting targets, as many of them start to believe that they themselves are faulty or are the problem, as the triangulator corroborates with and gains traction in recruiting their very own allies against them.

 

BREAKING BAD

Some of the worst crimes against humanity, have all been carried out in the stain of disinformation and communicatory manipulations. And the only way to subvert the darkness of triangulation is in the light of truth. If you are being triangulated by an abuser, make it a habit of employing thorough communication whenever you can to break through the illusion of disinformation and defamation campaigns. This serves to allow you and your loved ones to maintain an accord of understanding pertaining to the circumstances you are facing. 

 

Triangulation in all its glorious ugliness destroys relationships and people - and since its primary aim is in isolation through dissemination, the worst thing we can do as survivors is to carry the weight of shame, such that it prevents us from speaking and acting in ways that protect ourselves from those that seek to harm us.

 

The truth is the light...Use it...Speak It...and Live it to break free from the chains of abuse and triangulation.