POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER AND DV

 WHEN IT HURTS

Just as in the devastating aftereffects of war or slavery or even the holocaust, a survivors prolonged exposure to violence in any form can traumatize in ways imperceptible.

In instances of Domestic and Intimate Partner Violence, the stress involved in trying to subvert the physical, psycho-emotional, financial, and spiritual attacks projected onto a victim from an abuser can be overwhelming as we try to maintain some sense of normalcy in our lives. 

Likewise, in an effort to function within dysfunctional circumstances, survivors may begin to exhibit signs of extreme stress in their baseline behavior, with some displaying behavioral regressions in socializations, self-care, moods, with many developing mood disorders, coupled with intrusions of faulty  perceptions of themselves and the world around them, as the constant and corrosive threat of or exposure to demeaning, exploitative and violent circumstances, effectively renders them defunct in their ability to accurately respond to the stimuli around them. This phenomenon is known as Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), or likewise Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is a very common condition of many Domestic Violence survivors. 

PTSD is the culmination of responses to any and all circumstances or stimuli as if they are threatening or volatile, even if they aren’t.  A victim becomes conditioned to perceive, accept and expect that all interactions from others or the world around them will somehow prove harmful to them, as that becomes the bane of their experiences from the entanglement and harm caused by the abuser. They may begin to display hyper-vigilance or even erratic behaviors in their effort to protect themselves from further harm.

PTSD CAN LOOK LIKE

• Severe And Ongoing Depression Or Lack Of Ambition 

• Anger Or Mood Disorders, Such As Bipolar Disorder, Irritability And Hostility Or Oppositional Defiance

• Drug Or Alcohol Abuse

• Intrusive Or Constant Negative Perceptions Of Self And The World At Large

• Acts Of Self-Harm Or Self-Sabotage 

• Anti-Social Or Awkward Socializations And Behaviors, Emotional Detachment

• Erratic Or Otherwise Destabilized Behavior And Actions Or Moods 

• Exacerbating Seemingly harmless circumstances into harmful ones

• Inability To Effectively Cope With Stress

• Flashbacks, Fear, Severe Anxiety Or Mistrust 

• Nightmares Or Insomnia

NORMALCY TO THE SPIDER IS CHAOS TO THE FLY

One of the primary ways that predatory or otherwise abusive people seek to dominate and maintain authority of their targets is by acts of economic and financial terrorism, effectively preventing the target from acquiring the stabilization and resources necessary to break free from the volatile circumstances. This is usually the contributing factor of why most survivors aren’t equipped to leave the relationship, effectively becoming trapped in a world-wind of dysfunctionality that seeks to further destabilize and corrode their values, ideations, self-perceptions and chances of subverting the damages imbued onto them by the unhealthy relationship. The longer we are trapped in dysfunctional relationships, the harder it is to get out of them as we familiarize dysfunctional behaviors, attitudes and ways of coping with unhealthy people and circumstances in our effort to survive. 

The psycho-emotional implications in dealing with our autonomy being stripped from us and likewise dealing with the uncertainty, confusion and destabilizing circumstances that abusive relationships might cause, such as chronic homelessness, or financial or economic co-dependence on harmful or predatory people and social structures seeking to divide us from our loved ones and the strength of our affirmative support groups, can be very strenuous, causing many survivors to develop attributes of destabilized behaviors, rationale and moods from the stress involved in living under such conditions. 

A large number of survivors may even start to fantasize, romanticize, or even normalize the harm they face at the hands of their abusers, with some developing Stockholm Syndrome, where they gradually develop affirmative feelings for their abuser, especially if the abuse is coupled with excessive violence mixed with acts of retribution or kindness.  

However, the longer the victim is enthralled within the abusive circumstances, the deeper the level of  damage and trauma they experience in them, which can insight a very complex interwoven form of Post-Traumatic Stress or CPTSD that can prove very difficult to remedy and can take years of rehabilitation for the survivor to begin to feel safe enough in the world to shatter the falsely held beliefs indoctrinated into them by the abuser that all human relationships are dangerous.  

SURVIVING TERRORISM

PTSD in Domestic Violence relationships can be very difficult to heal from as the effects of trying to function in circumstances unfit for our human experience can devastate us in ways that aren’t easily recovered from.   

This is especially true since most predatory people seek to attach themselves to us, knowing that the longer they entangle us within the relationship, the weaker the resolve is in believing that freedom is possible or that we can untangle our lives from them, further contributing to the stress and strain involved in trying to survive within the relationship.

This is also true if the survivor hasn’t the strength of supportive family and friends that are interested in helping them break free from the volatile circumstances. This is also why abusers seek to distance their targets from those relationships that mean them well or that can serve as a means of subverting the negative effects from the violence the victim is facing.

Survivors may lose their families, become estranged from their children or even be rendered totally socially or economically dependent within the relationship, so the abuser can maintain their stronghold over them, serving to incite fear and hopelessness that things will ever get better.

Abusive people thrive on our fear which is why they terrorize, with one of their greatest tricks being to take away our power by convincing us that we have none. 

Likewise, just as an infant is born with the innate defenses of using sound to alert us that something is wrong, so we might help them, our truest hope for ourselves in utilizing our own power to free ourselves from harmful people and circumstances is in using our voices to get the help we need so that we might break free.

One of the best things a survivor can do to survive the terrorism they are facing is to SEEK HELP. We must Speak Up, Speak Out and Show Up for ourselves if we are to ever have a chance of reconciling the truest and best of who we are so that we may get the the help we need to live healthy and happy lives that are free of the terror of violence and that help nourish us back to wholeness and wellness.

Silence has always served to victimize the victim…so speak up, get help and be well…Always