Coercive Control
In dealing with the sting of violent relationships, there's no depth to the level an abuser isn't willing to go in their aim to procure power and control over a target in their effort to acquire narcissistic supply.
The very essence involved in the complex nature of these relationships encompass so much more than a victim simply being hurt, as almost all predators involved, seek to destroy the primal nature of their targets identity, self-worth and esteem, familial and structural support groups, financial and economic stability, psycho-social health, circumstantial perceptions, and all other stabilizing attributes of self-sufficiency, so as to foster an unequal balance of power and codependency within the relationship.
Likewise, the process of ensuring victim codependency and reliance on the abuser, often entails some of the most cruel and gruesome, debasing and dehumanizing acts of torture and terror known, sprinkled with intermittent fallacious gestures of kindness, to serve as a sealant to the nefarious nature of the true tenets of the relationship, while also serving to difuse all inclinations of self-preservation by the victim, in an effort to render them totally debilitated in subverting vicious acts of harm against them.
This is usually done by a recursive process of Coercive Control so as to force compliance within the relationship.
Coercive Control is the means a predator uses to get, keep and maintain the power dynamic within a dysfunctional or otherwise abusive relationship by reinforcing victim behavioral attributes by the series of negatively reinforced methods of inflicting a mix of physiological, psychological, financial and emotional abuses in continual fashion, while manufacturing most, if not all the circumstantial conditions to keep the victim trapped within this process, so as to attritiously grind them down over time.
What makes this method of grooming victim compliance so dangerous, is the violent nature of breaking victims down to gain complicity in predatory aim at the compromise and sacrificial wellbeing of the victim.
The primary tenets of this type of violence, include strategic measures of ongoing oppression and terrorism used by the abuser to instill fear and compliance to otherwise derogatory acts that serve to debase and harm.
Abusers use tactics, such as denying and sabotaging access to essential resources, and can even include monitoring, triangulating or weaponizing communication, as a means of controlling and diverting the target's actions and efforts.
Coercive Control includes
Isolation
by taking measures to divide the primary target from any and all affirmative or loving and supportive relationships, so as to foster codependency within the relationship.
Isolation is usually one of the first steps an abuser tries to use so start the process of grooming targets for future abuses.
In isolating a target from their support groups, abusers have far better aim and range in encircling their targets within their own circumstantial matrices to lessen the effort involved in the grooming process of victimization.
Monitoring Activity
In an effort to force victim compliance by maintaining the systemic process of torture and terror to force behavioral modification, predators and predatory groups often hack and track their target's life in such a way, that the target is left defenseless against the constant bombardment of offenses carried out against them.
Monitoring serves two fold as a means to manufacture, manipulate, frame and rig unfavorable circumstances surrounding the target, while subverting any and all methods by the target to subvert the harm caused by the circumstances.
Restricting Autonomy
like methods of monitoring, predators force victim complicity by fostering codependency so as to strip away victim resolve by disarming not only their natural defenses against harmful actions and behaviors, but also by gaslighting the victim in an effort serve as the primary decision maker in all circumstances, with aim to effectively dismantle the target's afirmative decision making and independence in ideations and perspective.
Name-Calling
Verbally abusive behavior serves to grind down a targets self-esteem and positive self reflections.
The underpinnings of verbal assault lie in the psycho-social implications of aim in undermining a target by using language constructs, usually coupled by rejection to sow the seeds of doubt.
This helps the abusers future aim of gaining unsolicited compliance later on in the relationship.
Controlling Money
Economic abuse is by far one of the most harmful factors in coericevely abusive relationships, as it serves to keep targets trapped within the confines of abusive and dysfunctional circumstances, especially when they haven't the economic resources to ensure their own sustenance and safety outside of the relationship.
Reinforcing Defunct Behaviors
it becomes those mysognistic or even toxic feministic attributes that contribute to the dysfunctional leanings of relationships shroud in the types of coerciveness used to enforce superficial, stereotypical or otherwise unnatural behaviors contrary to the very essence or nature of a target in a coercively abusive relationship.
Manipulating Kids
A target's circle of friends and family are one of the coercive abuser's favorite tools of destruction to weaponize against their target.
Because we typically have an imperceptible bond with our loved ones, especially our children, compliance in abusive relationships can almost always be gained by sowing threads of discontent, division, distrust, defamation and even delusion regarding our most intimate and revered relationships.
To gain compliance, many abusers will kidnap or take children, aim to use triangulation or weaponized communication to turn them against the primary target as a means to hurt them, and even use them as flying monkeys to reinforce terroristic or abusive themes, behaviors or attitudes, effectively using them as weapons against the primary target.
Controlling Your Body
Telling you how to dress or what to wear, forcing weight loss or gain, or even gestures of body shaming, such as negatively comparing intimate partners with other men or women and even perverse sexual objectification for the purposes of influencing malevolent behavior, are all measures of coercive Control and serve to distort the target's sense of self relative to their looks or physical attributes, so as to attach shame and dissatisfaction to their body perceptions to render acquiescence to demands.
Jealousy
while most people believe fits of rage or methods of preventing significant others from engaging in healthy platonic relationships with those of the opposite sex, coercive relationships imbued with the tenets excessively jealous attributes are all red flags within abusive relationship dynamics.
Sexual Coercion
Hypersexualized attitudes and behaviors, especially in inappropriate settings to gain complicity in harmful circumstances, such as in trying to force targets into prostitution or sex trafficking rings or even in group themed sexualized behaviors against their will or using sex as a tool of manipulation to gain favors or compliance are all examples of sexual coercion in abusive relationships.
Sexually explicit coercive control methods are also used in pedophilia and other types child sexual exploitation and assault.
Making Threats
threats of harm seek to distort our feelings of safety and security in the world. As such, the coercive abuser's primary aim is shroud in their means of fostering codependency and compliance within their dysfunctional monoverse of ME, MYSELF and I, at the insatiable cost of thwarting and destroying, abusing and using all in their paths to meet their own selfish aim.
Thus, making threats and engaging in other acts of violence to procure their own perversions of self gratification at the expense of others, are all powerful weapons in the coercive controllers arsenal of forcing others to cave to their demands.
Coercive control is an insidious and dehumanizing form of domestic abuse that entraps victims within hostage-like circumstances.
As a result of the mix of torture and terror in these relationships, coupled with the rollercoaster of reconciliation only to make way for more and more harm, these types of relationships are highly volitile, leaving most victims severely depleted, and distraught usually requiring long-term rehabilitation efforts to improve the quality of their lives, and overall wellbeing once they safely leave.
Getting out of invasive, traumatic or otherwise volitile relationships is hard, but very possible.
If you or someone you know is entrenched it trapped within a coercively abusive relationship, the only thing to do is GET OUT.
Resources Can Be Found At
THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
800-799-7233
There is Hope...There Is Help...
- OasisAgainstViolence