REJECTING THOSE WHO HURT US
Greetings to our OasisAgainstViolence survivor community.
Last week, we gave 11 affirmations toward self healing from trauma and injury and the emotional wounds incurred relating to Domestic Violence.
This week and in the weeks to follow, we'll be expanding on this theme relative to esteem building affirmations and the importance of those internal messages that we tell ourselves as we progress our healing journey from violence in our aim of subverting the negativity from the derogatory and deflating messages we've received as a result of living in abusive circumstances.
In using affirmative esteem building techniques, we are better equipped to speak positive and affirming life giving mantras, that help us build healthy self reflections, giving us the gall to press forward in filling our void of negativity with words designed to uplift us from dark places.
Affirmations also help us on our healing journey to attract relationships and people, and circumstances that are for us and that mean as well.
Our first affirmation is the affirmation of our divine right to reject people and things and situations that hurt us.
The affirmation is...I have a divine right to reject anyone and anything that hurts me. I do not have to remain loyal to people who treat me badly, use me, abuse me, lie to me, and have shown me that my needs within the relationship mean nothing to them.
All abusive relationships function from the aim of acquiring and maintaining power and control over targets of abuse to procure narcissistic supply.
As such, one of the primary means of accomplishing this aim, is in breaking down a victim's self esteem and healthy sense of self, along with the self defining affirmative attributes we give ourselves.
This helps predatory or otherwise narcissistic people in their aim of ongoing and long-term abuses, by grinding us down in ways that cause us to question our worthiness or deservedness of being harmed in our relationships- effectively impairing our first line defense mechanisms and systems of self preservation.
As a result, we begin to feel lacking and empty.
The abuser has effectively emptied out and drained us of our self esteem reserves.
In these feelings of lack and void, we look not within ourselves to fill our emptiness, but as the abuser continues to grind away at us, we look to them to fill that void for us.
What the abuser has effectively done is to take away our personal power of self definition.
And in yielding our personal power in trying to fill our void of emptiness from abuse, by looking to the abuser for our happiness or affirmation of validity as to who we are in the world, we put the burden on them to make us happy.
Thing is, with those who seek to harm us, this is never going to happen.
As we accept this realization and begin disconnect from the toxicity and negativity from the abuse we've been enduring, we are better equipped to reaffirm our place in the world and most importantly, our devine rights to live violence free by rejecting those people and things that serve to harm us or tear us down.
We at OASISAGAINSTVIOLENCE believe in the Christian doctrine that everything we receive from our relationships should complement who we are as opposed to completing us.
For through scripture we learn that we are good... that we are worthy...And from that center of being worthy...That we have a divine right to reject people who treat us badly.
So often we learn to yield our strength and our power, and best of all, our personal declarations and our internal voice of self-definition to those undeserving of it, and who don't affirm the goodness in attribute that is ours to be claimed in healthy relationships.
For before we even came into being, we were deserving of communion with good people who mean us well.
As such, it is imperative that we break free from the bondage of harmful and dystrophic relationships by employing our devine right to reject anyone who hurts us, who lies to us or who has otherwise shown us time and time again that we are of no consequence to them in our relation.
People tell us by what they do and say, and likewise what they don't do and say how they feel about us.
They tell us and show us this through their actions.
Likewise, when people have shown us that they don't value us as human beings and that they don't value us from vestiges of healthy conflict resolution and communications or as someone who can engage in healthy relationship with them, by the way that they deal with us, namely in how they respond to us, it then becomes our responsibility to reject such behavior and to leave.
For we do not have to accept lowliness as our way of life, as we have the godly ordained divine right to reject people and circumstances that arent designed for our highest good.
We each of us have our own personal power, and the space we hold in our lives for our most intimate relationships should be a reflection of that.
We come into this world connected to a mighty source that tells us that we are already whole...
...that we come into being with everything we could ever possibly need to fulfill our earthly walk here in becoming the very best of who we already are... We need only connect with it.
So we want to pontificate to our survivor community - do be encouraged.
For we strongly support positive self talk and the affirmation that you are good enough...for we each of us, are good enough to relate with people who mean us well and love us.
With those who don't mean to hurt us and don't want to use us or abuse and manipulate us by engaging in unhealthy behaviors that seek to break the spiritual and human resolve of who we are.
People who verbally abuse us, who strike us, who are psycho emotionally debasing and all those who commit other such violations against us with aim to drag us down either in our social graces, emotionally, or even by causing us to withdraw and revert into degradation in our thinking and our behaviors and in our worldly outlook on life itself, are engaging in a form of spiritual warfare against us.
For all are negative and low vibrational attributes carried by low vibrational people with aim to imbue us with the very same low vibrational frequencies they themselves have, effectively seeking to infect us with downtrodden energy fields by consuming our good energy and supplanting it with a lifeforce akin to spiritual death, by way of harmful energy exchange.
By virtue of our very existence, we have the divine right, to reject those things and to reject those people who serve as spiritual leeches, and who drain our life force and life giving energy, so that we might be free to share our own vibration and frequency.
Frequencies of love and human connection...of kindness and empathy...of sympathy...and of all those affirmative human attributes that fill us up and affirm the goodness with which we already are.
Again we want to give a warm welcome to our survivor community, and to let you all know that we here at OASISAGAINSTVIOLENCE value you.
For you are worthy of all there is to be had in good, healthy affirmative relationships.
So do be encouraged.
We challenge you to enact your personal power, and to tell yourself time and time again I'm worthy I am worthy. I am worthy. I am worthy of good things... of good people...of good relationships and most importantly, I have the divine right to reject anything that isn't that.
Stay tuned for next week's message on the upcoming tenet of affirmation toward self healing...
...and until then, be well.