REJECTING LESS THAN WE DESERVE
A Warm Welcome to our OasisAgainstViolence Survivor Community.
This week's affirmation gives credence to our Devine Right to reject less than we deserve within our relationships.
It Reads -
I have A Devine Right To reject Bums and BreadCrumbs when I recognize them. For I know that I cannot attain true corporeal, emotional psycho-social, financial, or spiritual well being when I accept less than I deserve.
So much of how we feel about ourselves... our self-prescribed identifying attributes of worthiness are tied into the behaviors we accept from our most prized and intimate relationships.
It has even been noted that we see our innermost convictions through the relationships we foster - not only with ourselves, but within our social circles as well.
As we learn to enact our own mechanisms of self care, we are better apt to reject half-hearted notions of disingenuous affection, love bombing, and blatant acts of disrespect and devaluation from others.
The goal of users, abusers and narcissistic personality types is to condition us to accept far less than we deserve within the relationship, by way of repeated acts of devaluation and degrading themes, designed to break our resolve and levels of expectation. This is known as BreadCrumbing, whereby the abuser gives us just enough reverence with their mix of abuses to keep us there, yet keep us starving, and largely unfulfilled.
The effect of nominal and inconsistent acts of kindness along with an unequal venue of reciprocation within the relationship, contributes to acceptance of abuses, both small and large, as we normalize undeserving convictions as our baseline norm.
A phenomenal analogy of the affect of sacrificial admonishment directed at us from those seeking to acquire our permission and aquiessence in using, abusing and debasing us, is none other than the famed story of Hansel and Gretel.
Facing lack of resources, the caretakers of two children, Hansel and Gretel, believed it best to abandon them in the forest, for the sake of their own survival.
Overhearing the disturbing plans, the two children thought it best to place breadcrumbs on the path from their house, so as to help them find their way back home.
In the process, the crumbs were consumed, leaving them lost.
As they ventured further on their journey, they were beguiled by a wicked witch, who enslaved them both in cages, and commenced a process of fattening them up, with the intent to kill and eat them.
Here enlies the very same process an abuser uses to break our resolve in their aim of destroying the preservatory mores by which we use to enhance our wellness and survival in the world.
In the process of the abuser sacrificing our needs within the relationship, so as to selfishly meet their own needs at our expense, we become disconnected from the familiarity of the quintessential nature of who we are, leaving us vulnerable to further abuses by predatory people.
In recognizing the red flags of dystrophic and harmful behaviors from our socializations BEFORE THEY HAVE BETTER AIM IN SACRIFICING US, we must make the life - saving decision to walk away from them, as the longer we stay, the deeper the entanglement within the relationship and thus, the more we are harmed.
We are likewise far better equipped to ensure our survival in the world when we learn to enact our Devine Right of rejecting lowly people and the breadcrumbs of affect in fulfilling our needs when we FIRST recognize them.
Self Love Is The Best Love...Always.
And everything we do, flows from our feelings of deservedness and worthiness of developing good natured and well intended relationships.
Likewise, we will never be able to function in our best capacity when we are entangled and ensnared by abusive people.
For we are each of us are worthy...and together we can light the path towards our journey to freedom from the people, places, and things that hurt us, so as to make way for all those who truly mean us well.
May We Find Them...Connect With Them... and best of all...May We Be Them.
- OasisAgainstViolence