ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR
The primary thread deeply interwoven into almost all dystrophic, violent, and otherwise unhealthy relationship dynamics, is the need for an abuser to procure and maintain control within the relationship...usually, by any means necessary.
This includes, but isn't limited to tactics that help abusers maintain victim strongholds, through malfeasance, along with the instillation of fear and deeply disturbing proclivities toward reprimand or harm whenever the abuser's demands go unmet.
It also includes false projections of inadequacy onto the victim, such that, the very essence of our self-defining attributes and confidence within the relationship are thwarted through constant acts of grinding down our self perceptions, and self-governance, so as to procure dysfunctional codependence within the relationship.
These projections serve to diffuse and disorient both our normal baseline levels of functioning, and attributes of self preservation, while encouraging self-denial and self-sacrificial acquiescence to otherwise defunct and malevolent behaviors from those who seek, through sheer acts of intimidation and immense cruelty, to maintain an unhealthy and iniquitous balance within the relationship by inciting the fog of fear, obligation, guilt and confusion.
Likewise, the merry-go-round cycles of dysfunction within these types of relationships are known to induce trauma, such that dystrophic trauma bonds between the victim and abuser are formed, with some so intense and unbalanced from the constant piracy of vampiric emotional evocation, they prove difficult to break.
On the other side of the fear of breaking free from such disparaging and unhealthy relationships that force us to shrink and deny our life's experiences, and the validity of who we are in the world, so as to push us to cloak ourselves in self-denial and self betrayal, to appease the dysfunctional demands of tyranny, by those who douse us in gasoline, light a match, and set us on fire, while we simply stand and burn, so as to keep them warm, are authentic relationships with those both good to us, and good for us.
For we are as valuable and as significant as all others within our human family, and must constantly strive not only to affirm the veracity of our innermost convictions, so as to develop authentic relations with others, but also to ensure that our psycho-social, emotional, corporeal, and even financial needs are met within our relationships.
We do ourselves a huge injustice when we dis-align ourselves from who and what we are, by revoking the naturally ordained gifts we bring into the world with us.
Likewise, we must always consider that relationships built on the dais of pervasive subversion, fear and violence shall irrefutably prove futile to us, and the longer we stay in them, the more harm they cause us.
For it is always the primary goal of misogynists, abusers, and dysfunctional personality types to destroy, instead of affirming and helping us to construct livelihoods of wellbeing in the world.
How else might we allow our lives to be corroded and destroyed...our boundaries stepped on...and the very fabric of our essence to be distorted and destroyed... if the abuser doesn't thrive in our dysfunction...
We must never allow fear to keep us entrapped and ensnared in debasing and dystrophic relationships with monstrosities, some in sheep's clothing, and all with aim to extort, exploit and destroy us...UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
When we acquiesce to the tyranny of betraying our sovereign right to choose those things that are in our own best interest, we demean and devalue our own pursuits of happiness and wellness in the world.
We must against all odds, Choose ourselves... ALWAYS.
Choose yourself over threats of harm...
Choose yourself in spite of sabotage, rigging and framing...
Choose yourself when you are scared...
Choose yourself when no one else does...
And most importantly,
Choose yourself, not only because you have the divinely ordained right to prioritize your wellness in the world over all else,
but because if you don't prioritize yourself over the demands of others...who else shall?
Progress over fear always...
CHOOSE YOU.
-OasisAgainstViolence